Posted by: iluvclouds | May 27, 2007

Dating

Pastors message today was about dating. I really wanted our older daughter to here what he had to say as she has recently entered the dating scene. Although I knew this day would come, it is turning out to be quite challenge emotionally. Its something I have no control over. And it is coming out of nowhere (at least for us), one day she gets a call and runs to her room and sends the next hour or so talking to this guy from work. Told her that if he wants to take her out we need to meet him first, so told her a good time for that would be to invite him to the church on Wednesday nights when we have an open mic coffee house. I thought it would take a while before we met this guy, but he came that very week. Of course he has no car (which of course leads us as parents to think he is after her for her car-she just got a 2006 Nissan Sentra sport.) So his mother dropped him off (I was impressed with that) and he was OK with my husband driving him home (that was surprising-although he really didn’t have a choice and we were not going to let our daughter drive him home.) He got to know him a little and wasn’t too impressed with him, he’s older and not really sure of where he is going right now. I guess we are a little overprotective, but we don’t want to see her get into a situation she is unprepared for. Was able to stall the first date for a week. They went out this Friday night with another couple. Then they met at a carnival yesterday for an hour or so.

I hope pastor’s message about making sure your relationship is not unbalanced intellectualy, emotionaly, spiritualy, and physically gets through to her. We had these talks about keeping herself pure for her husband and not getting involved physically before she is ready when she was in high school. She says they have kissed (but I don’t know how much, of course.) It is such a hard road to travel. I know I need to support her in her decisions and want her to take it slow and not spend too much time alone with him, and yet we can’t make it into a forbidden love situation where she sneaks around and goes behind out back and lies to us. So that was the object of lunch today, to keep the lines of communication open between us.

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Responses

  1. I hope she listens to her parents. I’ve traveled that road and would love to go back and be pure for my hubby on the wedding day. Unfortunately that isn’t possible. It seems so right at the time but when time passes it is obviously was so wrong.

  2. Take it from a girl who was a challenge to her parents as a teen-ager. If you instill morals in your daughter in a non-pushy way and trust that she will be the person you hope she is-She will be. If you let her think that you doubt her decision making-that may make her think-Why not they don’t trust me anyway.
    Try Subtle tactics-Eg, I trust that you will know right from wrong when presented with the situation. And when you choose the right thing-The wrong thing will never have power over you. Then when she is alone with the situation-she will take those words and they will become her own.
    Hope that helps.:)


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